OK, LOOK CLOSELY: I MAY BE THE ONLY SURVIVING SOUL IN THE FOREST TODAY WHO IS NOT AT THE BIG GOLF TOURNEY! WHY IS THIS SO UNUSUAL, WELL, IF YOU HAVE EVER BEEN HERE, OR HEARD OF THE AT&T PRO AM, YOU KNOW IT ATTRACTS THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS, WHO PARK ON MY WILD ROAD, SO I CAN’T WALK AND SEE THE OCEAN, AMONG OTHER THINGS. THEN THEY ALSO PARK AT THE BEACH, AND LEAVE THEIR CARS SO NOBODY CAN SURF OR RIDE A BIKE, ALL MY OCEAN FRIENDS DISAPPEAR.

NOW YOU MAY ASSUME THAT THIS ALLOWS FOR A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF PARANOIA, BUT I’M USED TO IT. I WAS THINKING TODAY AS I CLEANED MY HOUSE ON A WARM SUMMER-LIKE DAY, THAT I HAVE NEVER ATTENDED ONE OF THESE PHENOMS. I HAVE BEEN HERE FOR TWENTY SIX YEARS ON THE CENTRAL COAST, AND SEVEN OF THEM AT PEBBLE BEACH. I WILL SOON BE DELETED FROM EVERY LIST OF VIPS, SO PLEASE PLAN TO ATTEND MY DEMISE ON THAT RESPECT.

SERIOUSLY, NO WORRIES, I TAKE THE ALTERNATE ROUTE AND HEAD UP THE BEACH, ONTO THE BOARDWALK, OVER THE SWEET EMPTY COURSES OF SPANISH BAY. STROLLING THROUGH THERE ON A HOLIDAY LIKE THIS IS FABULOUS, YOU ALMOST HAVE THE PLACE TO YOURSELF! HA! YES, THAT WAS ME AROUND ONE PM, WHILE A FEW LADIES LUNCHED. SO JUST WANTED TO CHECK IN WITH THE WORLD AND SAY I AM FINE, DINNER IS ON THE GRILL AND MY  HEART IS HAPPY. I MADE SOME DECISIONS TODAY, CLEANED UP THE PHYSICAL AND MENTAL DETRITUS. SO HAPPY BIRDIE, OR BOGEY, OR WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE SOME POINTS! I AM THRILLED WITH THE MONEY YOU SPEND FOR OUR COMMUNITY, AND THE FACT THAT WHEN YOU HAVE GONE HOME, WE GET OUT LIVES BACK!

SO GOODBYE AND GOOD LUCK, DUFFERS AND FANS!

LOTS OF LOVE, XX:JW