JUST LISTENING…

THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGING, IN MY HOUSE OF CREATIVITY AND SOUL. THINGS ARE OUT OF HAND, AND I SEEM TO BE OUT OF CONTROL ABOUT WHAT COMES DOWN THE LINE, AND HOW TO HANDLE IT. SURPRISES ARE AMASSED THESE DAYS, MORE SO THAN THE EARLY DAYS OF THE PANDEMIC, WHERE WE JUST SAT AND NODDED. I TOOK THE ADVICE OF THOSE WHO I RESPECT, AND DID WHAT THEY ADVISED. LIKE HAVING MY VACCINATIONS, AND STAYING CLEAR OF CROWDS. WASHING MY HANDS BECAME ESSENTIAL, KEEPING THE FOOD CLEAN AND MYSELF AS WELL. I JUST ACCEPTED THAT FACT THAT WE WERE NOT IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT. AFTER ALL,  THIS WAS SERIOUS.

 

AND SO IT ROLLED ON, AND WE ADJUSTED, AND I KEPT WRITING LIKE A DEMON. IT WAS AN AMAZING FLOW OF CREATIVITY THAT APPEARED, CLIMBING THE MOUNTAIN OF A NEW BOOK. AND WHY NOT? THEY SAY THAT THE WORST CASES OF DEPRESSION DURING THE QUARANTINE PERIOD WERE FROM HAVING NOTHING TO DO. I THOUGHT I HAD IT MADE, YUP, I COULD WRITE. AND PAINT. AND WALK. AND MAKE COOKIES AND ENCHILADAS. THINGS WILL BE OK, EVENTUALLY… 

WE FAST FORWARD TO THIS DAY, AND MOMENT, WHERE I FIND SOME THINGS THAT HAVE GONE AWRY. MY TV STUDIO IS CLOSED, AND I CAN’T SHOOT WINSLOWART. HAVING TO POSTPONE A SLEW OF GUESTS WAS HARD, I PRIDE MYSELF ON BEING THERE AS I PROMISE FOR THEM. AND THEY ALWAYS GIVE IT THEIR BEST. I MISS THE CREW, AND MY DIRECTOR WHO HAS BEEN WITH ME FOR A LONG TIME. I MISS THE INTERACTION AND NEWS FROM OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE STRUGGLING TOO. IT IS HARD FOR ME TO ADMIT THAT I REALLY DO NEED OTHER HUMAN BEINGS TO SURVIVE, HAVING STAVED MYSELF OFF AND ALONE MUCH OF MY CREATIVE LIFE. THAT WAY, NOBODY HURTS YOUR FEELINGS, AND GETS IN THE WAY OF PLANS. SOUNDS KIND OF SELFISH, DOESN’T IT? NO, THAT’S NOT ME. WHAZZUP?

 

TRYING TO MATCH MY HOT PINK OUTFIT AND ALMOST THERE. IT IS TEN DAYS LATER, AND I FOUND MYSELF BEING NUDGED TO FINISH THIS MARVELOUS DOCUMENTARY OF THE PAST FEW WEEKS. YES, THINGS STARTED TO SLIDE, AND I ALLOWED IT. BUT THERE IS SOMETHING HARDWIRED IN MY SOUL THAT REFUSES TO GIVE UP. IT GOES BACK TO BEING THE OLDER SISTER TO A “LITTLE PRINCE” WHO WAS FAVORED. HE STILL SAYS THAT WAS NOT TRUE, BUT IN MY SADISTIC LITTLE MIND, I FELT INVISIBLE. THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO, THE FIRST PHASE OF LEARNING HOW TO SURVIVE. AND NOW THINGS ARE BEGINNING TO AWAKEN, SHOCKINGLY SO. BEING DENIED MANY OF THE THINGS I LOVE FOR A LONG TIME MIGHT HAVE BROKEN A SOFTER SOUL, BUT I AM DETERMINED TO FINISH WHAT I STARTED. PROMISES OF MONEY HAVE ARRIVED, BUT NOT SHOWN THEIR FACE YET. PHONE CALLS ARE COMING IN, AND VISIONS FROM PEOPLE I HAVE FORGOTTEN I KNOW. LIKE SOMEONE ON MY TV SHOW (OR RADIO SHOW), WHO CONTACTED ME THIS AFTERNOON WITH AN AMAZING HUGE PROJECT OF PODCASTS. IS THAT POSSIBLE (HAHAHAH, JUST KIDDING)

MY BRAIN HAS COME BACK TO LIFE IN THE BELIEVEING AREA, AND I AM HUNGREY FOR IDEAS AND FORCEFUL ACTIONS. I HAVE DEBTS TO PAY, PEOPLE HAVE HELPED ME PROJECT A FABULOUS NEW BOOK, AND THAT PRODUCER IS STILL WAITING TO START THE SERIES OF FILMS. WE ARE MERRILY BAKING COWBOY COOKES AND TONITE WILL BE HOMEMADE ENCHILADAS. WHO SAYS WE ARE NOT BACK?

 

SO I SEND YOU A KICK IN THE ASS, SO WE CAN JUMP BACK INTO THE WORLD TOGETHER. BE SURE TO TELL ME HOW THINGS ARE GOING THESE DAYS, OKAY? I’M TAKING CALLS. LOTS OF LOVE AND SHINY DAYS ARE ON THEIR WAY.

 

XX:JW